Sloppy Seconds

The Tucker Max Leftovers

Author: Tucker Max

Publisher: Blue Heeler Books

ISBN: 1619610019

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: N.A

View: 6090

Tucker Max's books-I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Assholes Finish First, and Hilarity Ensues-are a uniquely engaging trilogy composed of his best, craziest stories. They've sold millions of copies to fans all over the world. Their success has meant his success. As a thank you to those who have loved the stories and supported him for so long, Tucker has gone back through his massive archive of material one last time, culled out what you might call the "best of the rest," and arranged it here, in Sloppy Seconds, like a book version of Deleted Scenes. Unlike most deleted scenes, however, these don't suck. So enjoy.

Sloppy Seconds

Author: Bob Benson

Publisher: Xlibris Corporation

ISBN: 1483655946

Category: Fiction

Page: 196

View: 4927

A teen sex story without the teens or the gratuitous pool scene. A coming of age story now worrying about the expiration date more than the legal age. A once in a lifetime chance to make a second impression on your first loves. A Professor at a community college, a failed writer, a love refugee, 53 year old Dr. Tom Dawson gets a second chance at the dream. Would it even matter? This time even the cops would be called. Things and people change. It could be a sex comedy with a few shades of gray. It could just be a wild interlude preceding a boring retirement.

Fertile Sloppy Seconds!

Author: Nancy Moist

Publisher: Nancy Moist

ISBN: N.A

Category: Fiction

Page: 44

View: 6019

An influential U.S. senator seduces a young stud and triggers an international crisis all because she couldn't say no to... A GIANT TOOLBOX!!! The back and forth as other middle aged women discover that there is NO substitute for size makes for a sexy story where only 10 inches or more will do. Additionally, there are bonus stories about tiny FERTILE women who can't so no to 12 inches!!! WOW!!

Sloppy Seconds

Cartoons

Author: Bill Plympton

Publisher: Plymptoons Publishing

ISBN: 9780965207546

Category: Humor

Page: 180

View: 3965

A collection of humorous cartoons by illustrator Bill Plympton.

Ashanti & Donna

Sloppy Seconds

Author: Kelly Addams

Publisher: PMO Publishing via PublishDrive

ISBN: N.A

Category: Fiction

Page: 17

View: 8405

Meet Donna, a bored and frustrated wife to dull Alan, but only frustrated until Ashanti, a beautiful black woman and her equally handsome husband Julius move into the neighbourhood. Soon she finds herself drawn into a world of pleasure she had only ever dreamed could exist, and Alan stands to get only sloppy seconds after Julius has finished with her.

Sloppy Firsts

A Jessica Darling Novel

Author: Megan McCafferty

Publisher: Broadway Books

ISBN: 0676806643

Category: Fiction

Page: 304

View: 3569

The first book in the New York Times bestselling Jessica Darling series When her best friend, Hope Weaver, moves away from Pineville, New Jersey, hyperobservant sixteen-year-old Jessica Darling is devastated. A fish out of water at school and a stranger at home, Jessica feels more lost than ever now that the only person with whom she could really communicate has gone. How is she supposed to deal with the boy- and shopping-crazy girls at school, her dad’s obsession with her track meets, her mother salivating over big sister Bethany’s lavish wedding, and her nonexistent love life? A fresh, funny, utterly compelling novel, Sloppy Firsts is an insightful, true-to-life look at Jessica’s predicament as she embarks on another year of teenage torment. From the dark days of Hope’s departure through her months as a type-A personality turned insomniac to her completely mixed-up feelings about Marcus Flutie, the intelligent and mysterious “Dreg” who works his way into her heart, this poignant, hilarious novel is sure to appeal to readers who are still going through it, as well as those who are grateful that they don’t have to go back and grow up all over again. “A hilarious trip down memory lane. You’ll laugh out loud–and cringe–as this first novel by McCafferty takes you back to the soap opera that was high school.”—Glamour

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

Author: Tucker Max

Publisher: Citadel

ISBN: 0806535938

Category: Humor

Page: 288

View: 650

My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. --from the Introduction Actual reader feedback: "I am completely baffled as to how you can congratulate yourself for being a womanizer and a raging drunk, or think anyone cares about an idiot like you. Do you really think that exploiting the insecurities of others while getting wasted is a legitimate thing to offer?" "Thank you, thank you, thank you--for sharing with us your wonderful tales of drunken revelry, for teaching me what it means to be a man, for just existing so I know that there is another option; I too can say 'screw the system' and be myself and have fun. My life truly began when I finished reading your stories. Now, when faced with a quandary about what course of action I should take, I just ask myself, 'What Would Tucker Do?'--and I do it, and I am a better man for it." "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don't believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I'll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You're an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you." "You are the coolest person I can even imagine existing. If you slept with my girlfriend, it'd make me love her more."

Assholes Finish First

Author: Tucker Max

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1439198691

Category: Biography & Autobiography

Page: 432

View: 5139

Presents a new collection of alcohol-induced "fratire" adventures in hedonism that convey the author's experiences of being intoxicated at inappropriate times, seducing a large number of women, and otherwise living in complete disregard of social norms.

Hilarity Ensues

Author: Tucker Max

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

ISBN: 1451669054

Category: Humor

Page: 448

View: 4273

The New York Times bestselling author of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Assholes Finish First delivers a new collection of thirty 100% true, 100% exclusive stories of comically perverse excess. Another installment in Tucker Max’s series of stories about his drunken debauchery and ridiculous antics. What began as a simple sentence on an obscure website, “My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole,” and developed into two infamously genre-defining books, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and Assholes Finish First, ends here. But as you should expect from Tucker by now, he is going out with a bang—literally and figuratively. In this book, you’ll learn: * How to live and work in Cancun, while still enrolled in Law School * Why Halloween is really awesome * How to subtly torture a highstrung roommate until he explodes with furious anger over a misplaced condiment * What really happened when a dirty pageant girl tried to sue Tucker because he told the truth * Why you should never accept a homemade treat from a hippie with a van As we’ve come to learn from Tucker, assholes do finish first...but everything comes with a price.

The Sloppy Seconds Reboot

Author: Bob Benson

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9781478747925

Category: Fiction

Page: 360

View: 3677

Sometimes love the second time around is much messier. It may have taken 53 years but a self admitted "failed" English professor, Dr. Tom Dawson, is finally hot in the shallow and older end of the dating pool. He gets a second chance with two of his two most vivid college flames to make a first love. But love is not better the second time around and history does repeat itself and may not be valid anyway. His reboot changes everything. The consolation prize is a big hooker and the investigating detective of a home burglary. He gets a lot more action and a little less love. If love ever happens it was not his love story.

Kill All Normies

Online Culture Wars From 4Chan And Tumblr To Trump And The Alt-Right

Author: Angela Nagle

Publisher: John Hunt Publishing

ISBN: 1785355449

Category: Social Science

Page: 136

View: 7000

Recent years have seen a revival of the heated culture wars of the 1990s, but this time its battle ground is the internet. On one side the "alt right" ranges from the once obscure neo-reactionary and white separatist movements, to geeky subcultures like 4chan, to more mainstream manifestations such as the Trump-supporting gay libertarian Milo Yiannopolous. On the other side, a culture of struggle sessions and virtue signalling lurks behind a therapeutic language of trigger warnings and safe spaces. The feminist side of the online culture wars has its equally geeky subcultures right through to its mainstream expression. Kill All Normies explores some of the cultural genealogies and past parallels of these styles and subcultures, drawing from transgressive styles of 60s libertinism and conservative movements, to make the case for a rejection of the perpetual cultural turn.

How to Ruin Everything

Essays

Author: George Watsky

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 0698191242

Category: Humor

Page: 240

View: 6217

A New York Times Bestseller "Funny, subversive, and able to excavate such brutally honest sentences that you find yourself nodding your head in wonder and recognition." —Lin-Manuel Miranda, composer and lyricist of In the Heights and Hamilton: An American Musical Are you a sensible, universally competent individual? Are you tired of the crushing monotony of leaping gracefully from one lily pad of success to the next? Are you sick of doing everything right? In this brutally honest and humorous debut, musician and artist George Watsky chronicles the small triumphs over humiliation that make life bearable and how he has come to accept defeat as necessary to personal progress. The essays in How to Ruin Everything range from the absurd (how he became an international ivory smuggler) to the comical (his middle-school rap battle dominance) to the revelatory (his experiences with epilepsy), yet all are delivered with the type of linguistic dexterity and self-awareness that has won Watsky devoted fans across the globe. Alternately ribald and emotionally resonant, How to Ruin Everything announces a versatile writer with a promising career ahead. From the Trade Paperback edition.

Console Confessions

The Great Music Producers in Their Own Words

Author: Anthony Savona

Publisher: Hal Leonard Corporation

ISBN: 9780879308605

Category: Music

Page: 298

View: 6232

(Book). Compiled from industry leader EQ magazine, Console Confessions gathers first-person stories from the top names in music production. All aspects of recording are covered, from creative concepts to choosing equipment and on to project mastering. Celebrities from both in front of and behind the board talk candidly about their art and some offer step-by-step instructions on attaining their legendary sounds. Sections covering personal style, technical aspects, and history offer a rare glimpse into the specifics of how each individual producer or artist achieves his vision. Les Paul, Jimmy Bowen, Herbie Hancock, Aerosmith's Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, Ric Ocasek, Lou Reed, Jeff Lynne, Jimmy Jam, and Rush's Alex Lifeson are among the hit-makers featured.

Sloppy Firsts

A Jessica Darling Novel

Author: Megan McCafferty

Publisher: Broadway Books

ISBN: 0676806643

Category: Fiction

Page: 304

View: 7295

The first book in the New York Times bestselling Jessica Darling series When her best friend, Hope Weaver, moves away from Pineville, New Jersey, hyperobservant sixteen-year-old Jessica Darling is devastated. A fish out of water at school and a stranger at home, Jessica feels more lost than ever now that the only person with whom she could really communicate has gone. How is she supposed to deal with the boy- and shopping-crazy girls at school, her dad’s obsession with her track meets, her mother salivating over big sister Bethany’s lavish wedding, and her nonexistent love life? A fresh, funny, utterly compelling novel, Sloppy Firsts is an insightful, true-to-life look at Jessica’s predicament as she embarks on another year of teenage torment. From the dark days of Hope’s departure through her months as a type-A personality turned insomniac to her completely mixed-up feelings about Marcus Flutie, the intelligent and mysterious “Dreg” who works his way into her heart, this poignant, hilarious novel is sure to appeal to readers who are still going through it, as well as those who are grateful that they don’t have to go back and grow up all over again. “A hilarious trip down memory lane. You’ll laugh out loud–and cringe–as this first novel by McCafferty takes you back to the soap opera that was high school.”—Glamour

Darklight

Author: Chad Kultgen

Publisher: Boom! Studios

ISBN: 1613981732

Category: Comics & Graphic Novels

Page: 112

View: 6909

We poisoned our planet. Sucked it dry of natural resources. Killed one another in the name of gods that never existed, and survived despite it all. Now, at the very edges of the fabric of space-time, the universe itself is starting to decay. Three warring races-the Human Empire, the organic Duron, and the cybernetic Luminids-must band together to stop their mutual destruction, and the future of the galaxy rests on Captain Rhodes and the crew of the H.E. Woden.